Dacotah is growing taller I swear by the day. Which also means he is getting stronger. Don’t get me wrong I want him to grow and be tall like his dad. I also know that means the meltdowns are getting scarier because it’s harder for me to restrain him to keep us all safe. We had to officially retire Loki from his service dog responsibilities due to the increasing pain and instability from his joint OCD. He can barely jump up on the couch now and loading and unloading from the SUV is all but impossible. So that’s been a change I wasn’t quite ready for because he helps redirect Dacotah and blocks him from running off when he’s done with a situation.
When Dacotah makes his mind up about doing something he is 1000% determined to do it. There is no stopping to assess if it’s dangerous. Elopement into the neighboring cow fields have become a daily occurrence. I wish I could say it’s gotten easier, I mean I guess the fact he can talk and tell me I’m going to visit my cow friends as he runs for the door does make it easier. At least he’s not sneaking out but he has a very hard time waiting. For a kid who was NEVER supposed to talk he never STOPS talking!!!! That is such a blessing and a curse lol. But him talking does make things easier because after he calms down he’s able to tell me why the meltdowns happen now unless his anxiety takes over and he shuts down and doesn’t remember.
That’s kind of two fold because he needs a visual schedule, he needs a time, and transitions are easier. However, when he wants/needs something from me or his sister it’s IMMEDIATE Demand… which is exhausting.
The last few weeks of school it was very hit and miss on if his anxiety would let him get on the bus to get there. If I drove him, he refused to go inside the school. Trust me we sat outside 3 hours one day and he still wouldn’t go inside. So I started brainstorming for the upcoming year on how we were gonna be able to do third grade.
Don’t you hate when you know what’s happening and then halfway through the summer get notified that staff is changing??? So Mrs. M is being transferred to the middle school. Which means there’s a new life skills teacher coming to the primary and from I know they are straight out of college! A part of me wants to immediately argue for a one on one aide for Dacotah but that would honestly take an act of congress because it would be easier to send him to a different school 45 minutes away from home! Ummm yeah he can barely stand the bus ride to the school 15 minutes from home so how is that supposed to work?
I asked Dacotah his opinion because to me it does matter. He says he is excited for third grade and wants to be in class with his peers. This too is bittersweet because as much as I want him to be on par with the other 3rd graders, he is still mentally around 1st grade in play and behavior which annoys the same aged peers.
So I’m at a crossroad of:
Do I ask for an aide? Do we try the life skills classroom as previously done? Do we opt for a home base option? Do we consider home school again? Do we try the school 45 minutes away? Do we opt for mainstream classes with more accommodations?
I won’t lie, these are HARD questions to which I have no clue what the right answer is. I would love to say everything is going to be 100% perfect this year. But honestly I still have PTSD from dropping him off during the middle of a meltdown. Someone mentioned having the SRO talk to him…it took everything in me not to laugh because Dacotah doesn’t differentiate between a teacher and policeman vs stranger. To him they all talk at the same level and have the same authority… vs his peer sees the SRO and immediately breaks down in tears of please don’t take me to jail.
I would love to say everything is absolutely hands down going to be perfect. Unfortunately due to some personal health problems things slowed down for us a lot over the summer. Perhaps it was better this way so we can all process the upcoming changes that is about to hit us in the next few weeks! At the same time it gives this momma a lot of time to overthink!
But as I’ve always said, I am thankful for the small steps forward and know that he is going to do amazing things!
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